Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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