If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
