it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
