She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
