this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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