Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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