Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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