shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I love black thongs
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
