so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I intend to get homeless drunk
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We left the knife in your bed.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize