They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
