IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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