Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
