i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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