im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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