i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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