im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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