Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
