yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
