Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
