first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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