Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter

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(609): View more from New Jersey

So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans

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(704): View more from North Carolina

giving yourself 2 days to recover i see

(828): View more from North Carolina

I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.

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(330): View more from Ohio

the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.

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(239): View more from Florida

MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.

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(312): View more from Illinois

He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?

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(785): View more from Kansas

I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...

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