How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize