Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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