I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
