based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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