plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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