I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
