3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize