we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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