I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
