i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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