I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Your cock deserves a montage
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
