i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
