i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
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