ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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