is your mom at the bar?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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