alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
