Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
