She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
This is the prime rib incident all over again
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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