She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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