What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize