u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
