Please, let me fuck your mom
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
