So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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