At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
