I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I met the friendliest cop last night
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
