I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
