somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
we're so committed to being not committed
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
