dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
