Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
