I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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