Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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