so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
