ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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