Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
