so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
