it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
