I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
