Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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