if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
